life is simple, it's just not easy

to find a girl that loves indie music as much as i do. That loves star wars and that plays video games. likes to stay in at home, can get along with my best homies, independent, can tell me to shut the hell up when needed, one that loves football (not american) and basketball and tennis badminton (a part of me still hates admitting that i’m falling in love with this sport). that loves tea, curry, pizza. that’ll have a blast with me just going to the park and laying there in the grass just taking pictures. likes to have deep conversations about nothing. and especially one that’ll love reading together, in silence, but is happy in the fact knowing that we’re just there, together, happily absorbed in our own worlds?

haha fuck that actually does sound pretty damn hard. its like, i know girls individually who are like this, but seriously, can’t a guy just catch a break? i honestly LOVE being single, and I’m content in where I am/how I am. But sometimes, it does get lonely. I love my friends, best friends, and the few people I consider as my brother or sister, but I guess it’s just not the same. These bouts of loneliness bother me so much. These long nights of being alone I usually don’t mind, yet here I am, just having “one of those days.” I wish I can just go to sleep since I hate having one of these “lonely nights” not having “anyone.” I’ve worked so hard being independent, not being a person who is dependent on anyone, yet here I am, at 10 p.m. having so many mixed thoughts of contemplating where I would be if I gave the few girls that had an interest in me a chance along side thoughts of Organic Chemistry and Biology lab; Thoughts of what would’ve happened if I got to know them a bit more? Would they have been my ideal girl? Would I be content in knowing they had a few aspects of my ideal girl? Because let’s face it, and be truly honest with ourselves. No one will ever match up to our ideal other (in my humble opinion). But there’s a person out there that’s so much better, hell you may know them, already met them but are too much of a dumbass/impervious to realize it yet, or maybe you guys are happily together. You know why that person is super rediculously impossibly amazing? It’s because they’re real.

Here’s hoping my real girl is out there somewhere.

Maybe that’s why I relate to Ted in How I Met Your Mother a lot. As much as I like(d) that Barney and Robin were independent and were somewhat my role models into getting into that mindset. There’s just something about sappy hopelesss romantic Ted that I relate to. Well I actually don’t know where I was going with that, but it seemed important to this rant, haha guess not really. Eh I guess I’ll let future Aaron take care of that, after this whole rant present Aaron is still content and happy being single. I’m gonna stop referring to myself in third person now.. didn’t realize how douchey that sounded. 

It was nice getting that out. Guess that’s been in my mind a lot and I just needed to get it out. Hopefully no one made it passed the title of the blog, haha this was sort of embarrassing to admit. 

/end rant.